Relationships aren’t always PARADISE

Negative emotions such as jealousy and insecurity, the commonality of skepticism/doubts on whether true love exists, the divorce rate in America, are all reasons that cause and will continue to cause people to immediately assume the worst from the person that they are seeing. These negative assumptions cause fear and distrust in relationships and are a common reason why relationships don’t work out. Depending on personality type, you could be one of the two:  someone who isn’t shy about their assumptions and ultimatley let these assumptions turn into false accusations, resentment, arguments. OR someone who quietly takes note of the situation, assumes the worst & let it build inside until they are filled with- guess what- resentment, distrust, and fear.  DON’T LET NEGATIVE ASSUMPTIONS CONSUME YOU.

some things that may help with your fears/worry

1st- Train yourself to assume the best. Although you may intensely care about someone, no-one needs to know what their partner is doing at all times of the day. To be honest, it’s just completely unrealistic, unsustainable, and unhealthy. If you are consistently worried about what someone else is doing, this is a great sign that you need to refocus your goals and what you want. He’s not worth the stress wrinkles or distracting you from where you are going. Focus on yourself, assume he’s playing chess or reading the dictionary not at the club taking body shots, and get some work done.

(At the same time, don’t let yourself become blind to OBVIOUS red flags and signs that this person doesn’t have the same intentions as you. I have come to terms with the fact if you have a strong gut feeling that something isn’t right or something appears to be off- it probably is.)

2nd- Learn to communicate how you are feeling without coming off as accusatory or aggressive.  Start out conversations with phrases like “I feel…” and go from there. The great thing about “I feel” conversations- no one can tell you what you are feeling is wrong, it’s just how you are feeling. If you find yourself having these conversations too often, it may be a good sign that the relationship might be more stress than it’s worth or you need to address your trust issues in private & try to retrain your brain.

3rd- Have a conversation about the intentions of this person  and see if they are align with yours. Recognize the difference between someone is using you to fill a void vs. genuinely caring about you.

“If someone cares about you/ loves you their actions will be consistent with caring about you/loving you” @brittanyrennerr on twitter.

 

Don’t overcomplicate things, focus on you. ❤

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Nail Inspiration

DSC_0254 (1).jpgDSC_0280.jpgSpring is approaching and what is better than a nail appointment to bring in the warm weather and the lovely smell of fresh cut grass?!

I LOVE the natural nails look and if I didn’t have the terrible habit of biting my nails, I probably would get a shellac manicure and be done with it. Unfortunately, for anxious girls like me  this is simply not an option. I decided to get acrylics on my fingers to lengthen my nails and asked for the coffin shape so they would look less blocky and more girly & natural looking.  I picked a transparent pinkish nail color with some shimmer to add some spice. Whether you wear a natural/acrylic nail, rock it with confidence & a smile on your face. It’s almost spring y’all we can make it through this winter I promise!!!!!

I always get french tips on my toes, definitely worth the extra 5$ 😉 Feet are pretty much the worst but when I have a fresh pedicure I always feel like a million bucks. My toe nail shape sucks so a solid color on my toes does nothing for me, therefore the french is my go to.

If you’re feeling stressed, over worked, or down a trip to the nail salon is a sure way to turn around your mood. Men love a manicured hand/foot, not like we do anything just for the boys but it’s definitely a plus. Make sure to tag/ send me pics of your beautiful spring mani/pedi’s. ❤

If you haven’t had a chance to check out my trip to San Diego, you can see it here!

 

Personal

I am not exactly sure when, but somewhere along the lines of this crazy journey called life I lost value in myself. I lost track of who I was and soon became someone I could not even recognize. It’s tough to say, it’s tough to confess to the internet. I didn’t value my time, my body, my thoughts. My relationship with God became nonexistent seemingly overnight; I had no direction and I was lost.

When you don’t value yourself or see yourself as someone of worth, you will attract people that are more than willing to take advantage of you. Because who in their right mind is going to love someone that doesn’t love themselves? Who’s gonna think the world of someone who doesn’t think the world of themselves?

We hear all the time, “The quality of your thoughts is the quality of your life.” But how can your thoughts change your life? It seems so abstract and impossible until you dedicate yourself to changing your daily thoughts. If this is something that interests you, I am going to list three books at the end of this post that have changed the way I have live my life, and increased my happiness by approximately 30 thousand percent.

It’s so easy to get discouraged and lost if you  feel like you have no purpose in life or if you simply don’t feel inspired to accomplish something, whatever that may be. I recommend you find something that sets your heart on fire. For me, my worst enemy in life has been the fear of failure. Once you conquer that fear and realize that the only way you will ever accomplish your dreams is to put yourself out there and just plainly, START.. you are one step closer to achieving whatever you put your mind to. If you are struggling finding your purpose in life or what you really want to do, I recommend you take a look at this:

IMG_4591-1.PNGCourtesy of Lewis Mocker’s snap chat @loopylitez  Worth the 30 seconds it takes to add someone! Basically, your purpose is the dot. Find something that serves others, you are good at, you get paid for it (you can monetize anything), and something that you love. He is SO incredibly intelligent and I have learned so much from his snap stories it’s actually insane. He also has a youtube channel here: Lewis’ Youtube Channel

What I’m trying to say, is fall in love with bettering yourself. Whether it be working out, reading books about your niche, studying for your classes, or all of the above. I found that working towards something that I want to desperately achieve has ripped the sadness/laziness right out of me. Decide what you want, visualize it, and begin to work towards its attainment.

“Just remember… your career, education, and money is not going to wake up one day and decide to leave you”

3 books I believe will change your life:

“How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie

“Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill

“Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert T. Kiyosaki

Thank you for the lovely photography ❤

QUOTES THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

“God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God shall help her, and that right early.” -Holy Bible

“Whenever you go out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every handclasp. Do not fear being misunderstood and do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do; and then, without veering off direction, you will move straight to the goal. Keep your mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do, and then, as the days go gliding away, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing upon the opportunities That are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from running tide the element it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought you hold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual. . . . Thought is supreme. Preserve a right mental attitude- the attitude of courage, frankness, and good cheer. To think rightly is to create. All things come through desire and every sincere prayer is answered. We become like that on which our hearts are fixed. Carry your chin in and the crown of your head high. We are gods in the chrysalis” – Elbert Hubbard

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain-and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving” -Dale Carnegie

“I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall pass this way again.” – Stephen Grellet

“Don’t cling to a mistake just because you spent a long time making it” -Aubrey De Grey

“There are detours all over the place. If you don’t believe, who the hell is gonna believe?” -T. Pryor

“Having confidence in yourself is crucial. If you don’t have a strong opinion of yourself the people and the world around you will tell you who you are” – I. Thomas

 

Thank you for the lovely photography ❤

Plastic Surgery

First I would like to say I am not set on this earth to judge others- it’s not my place nor is it my business.   The only thing that truly upsets me is that people often go through their whole life “waiting” to be happy. “I’ll be happy once I get the job with the good pay , I’ll be happy once I graduate college, or I’ll be happy once I’ve payed off my debts. I’ll be happy once I’m married with a family. I’ll be happy once I can afford rhinoplasty or a breast augmentation or lip injections.”

We spend our whole life anticipating the next chapter in our life, expecting it to bring us an infinite fountain of happiness. All of a sudden, we get to that point in our lives that we thought would bring us happiness & end up extremely disappointed… because we forgot to enjoy the moment, journey, process. The truth is, our happiness is dependent on our choice to do what inspires us every day. When you find yourself doing something that you love and that you feel is your purpose here on Earth, you don’t need an alarm clock in the morning. You wake up because you have found your purpose and are willing to put whatever amount of work in to make your dreams a reality. THIS IS NOT A FALSE NARRATIVE, THIS IS THE TRUTH! Whether that is to get an education to become a lawyer or work at a minimum wage job until you can save up enough money to start a business. Whatever it is- work towards finding what genuinely makes you happy & if you already know what makes you happy all you have to do is believe in yourself and put the work in to achieve your goals. Remember the words of Lewis mocker “you can monetize anything”.   So, go get creative and start your new, inspired life doing what you LOVE.

Well, what does that have to do with plastic surgery ?  What upsets me about plastic surgery is that people often get these procedures done and after all the bruising has healed and the pain has subsided, they look in the mirror and they still are not happy. This is because you literally cannot buy happiness or self love. That is an expensive ass life lesson to learn, that’s for sure. So before you start altering a part of your body make sure it’s not in the search for happiness because that certainly can’t be bought. It can only be found from within. On the other hand, if you love yourself but simply want bigger tits, go for it & piss on the haters… just make sure you are doing it for YOU.

PSA: Although I’m not against plastic surgery, like a lot of things in this life, it’s just not for me.

Check Out My Favorite Photographer!

 

Coping With a Single Valentine’s Day

I’m sorry if you are dreading Valentine’s day.  BUT SORRY BABES, CAN’T RELATE: HOW CAN YOU WHEN THE IDEA IS REVOLVED AROUND ROMANCE, LOVE, FLOWERS, AND CHOCOLATE?!?! If I had to choose a life aesthetic, it would be revolved around everything Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day should not be revolved around reminding you that you are single, but that you are loved! If you need to be reminded- write a list of all of the lovely people you have in your life that you love dearly and wish them a Happy Valentine’s Day.

Take the initiative and celebrate Valentine’s according to  your own terms, not society’s.  Go out and buy yourself some cheap flowers, a stuffed animal, light some candles, FaceTime your parents, & read a good romance novel (the Manwhore series by Katy Evans is a personal favorite). I think it’s my inner passion for English that has caused me to be a hopeless romantic. And when I say hopeless, I don’t mean it lightly. Your grandmother probably receives more texts in a day than I do. Being excruciatingly single doesn’t make me sad or want to rush into a relationship that I wouldn’t put my all into and it doesn’t discourage me from believing in true love. I promise, love will find you- unexpectedly, and in God’s timing💜

If you are more of a movie type of gal, invite one of your single friends to see Fifty Shades Darker, splurge on an Icey & popcorn,  and enjoy your singleness together. I have been desperately waiting for this sequel to come out for two years so, to me, this is an ideal combination (favorite movie/favorite holiday).

Hey, why not take the liberty of taking yourself on a date if you don’t have one, put your best dress on, find a glam look- go ALL THE WAY over board, and post an instagram picture that makes your ex cry, BUT make sure to look fierce enough that he knows you would never respond to his inevitable “hope you’re doing well” or “miss you” text. If you have a newly single friend, make sure to include them in this one!

WE ARE INDEPENDENT, MAKEUP LOVING, FLOWER LOVING GALS AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH CELEBRATING VALENTINES DAY WHILE BEING SINGLE, YA HEAR!?!

But really Valentine’s Day is my favorite freakin holiday, and if you happen to see a dozen roses on my Instagram I totally bought them for myself- make sure to tag me in your single gal Valentine’s day post 😉

Photo Courtsey of Baby Girl’s,( Kylie Jenner) Snapchat