21 things i learned before 21

1. If it ain’t hurtin, it ain’t helpin (thanks Bailey)
2. It’s okay to question why the masses follow certain paths & traditions
3. Not everyone’s intentions are the same as mine
4. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean you are supposed to be with them
5. Struggle builds character (like my dad always says)
6. Money won’t solve your problems
7. 1% of people think the way I do, and that’s okay
8. Fear can be your worst enemy or your best friend
9. Positive thinking is necessary in all aspects of life (relationships/business)
10. Law of manifestation is very real
11. It is important to make an effort to remember people’s names
12. If you need something from someone, tell them how it will benefit them first
13. Serving others will bring success and happiness
14. Do what makes you happy
15. Don’t fear how big your dreams may seem
16. Karma is very real; never seek revenge
17. Only YOU can control your emotions
18. Emotional mastery is key to self mastery
19. Be aware of surroundings at all times
20. Building an empire shouldn’t be done by anything but deals that are beneficial to all parties
21. Focus on me, my man will come find me eventually

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Relationships aren’t always PARADISE

Negative emotions such as jealousy and insecurity, the commonality of skepticism/doubts on whether true love exists, the divorce rate in America, are all reasons that cause and will continue to cause people to immediately assume the worst from the person that they are seeing. These negative assumptions cause fear and distrust in relationships and are a common reason why relationships don’t work out. Depending on personality type, you could be one of the two:  someone who isn’t shy about their assumptions and ultimatley let these assumptions turn into false accusations, resentment, arguments. OR someone who quietly takes note of the situation, assumes the worst & let it build inside until they are filled with- guess what- resentment, distrust, and fear.  DON’T LET NEGATIVE ASSUMPTIONS CONSUME YOU.

some things that may help with your fears/worry

1st- Train yourself to assume the best. Although you may intensely care about someone, no-one needs to know what their partner is doing at all times of the day. To be honest, it’s just completely unrealistic, unsustainable, and unhealthy. If you are consistently worried about what someone else is doing, this is a great sign that you need to refocus your goals and what you want. He’s not worth the stress wrinkles or distracting you from where you are going. Focus on yourself, assume he’s playing chess or reading the dictionary not at the club taking body shots, and get some work done.

(At the same time, don’t let yourself become blind to OBVIOUS red flags and signs that this person doesn’t have the same intentions as you. I have come to terms with the fact if you have a strong gut feeling that something isn’t right or something appears to be off- it probably is.)

2nd- Learn to communicate how you are feeling without coming off as accusatory or aggressive.  Start out conversations with phrases like “I feel…” and go from there. The great thing about “I feel” conversations- no one can tell you what you are feeling is wrong, it’s just how you are feeling. If you find yourself having these conversations too often, it may be a good sign that the relationship might be more stress than it’s worth or you need to address your trust issues in private & try to retrain your brain.

3rd- Have a conversation about the intentions of this person  and see if they are align with yours. Recognize the difference between someone is using you to fill a void vs. genuinely caring about you.

“If someone cares about you/ loves you their actions will be consistent with caring about you/loving you” @brittanyrennerr on twitter.

 

Don’t overcomplicate things, focus on you. ❤

LAPTOP ISSUES

After a few weeks of laptop troubles, I’m back people!!!!! So here’s a little tidbit of what I dealt with the past few weeks….

Let’s get the full story…

So about a year ago I spilled an entire pitcher of pina colada on the keyboard  of my, at the time, one year old MacBook pro. Pure instinct led me to immediately turn my laptop off and soak up the excess mixed drink. I then quickly turned my laptop upside down so that the liquid wouldn’t seep further into my laptop. I remembered the years of my family and I accidentally jumping into pools with our flip phones and then turning them off and putting them in a bowl of rice, so I  followed suit by placing my laptop with the screen facing the floor covered  in about two bags of rice on my bedroom floor- for three days. Although I was incredibly curious about the status of my laptop’s motherboard, I refused the temptation of turning my device back on. 3 days later, my now pina colada infused laptop and I made a trip to the apple store to unveil our fate. I got there, told them what happened, and of course they had me power it on… And just like magic…. My laptop had survived the blow of coconut flavored goodness. The grace of God allowed me to save the laptop that was gifted to me by my brother.

* 1 year later *

Out of thin air, my laptop started acting up. Every time I opened safari or any other application, a code of error would pop up. “OH NO, my laptop is finally feeling the buzz from the pina colada”- my initial thought. The other side of my brain led me to believe that it had survived this long, there is no way it just suddenly began to act crazy. Either the sugar finally corroded the organs of my laptop or maybe this was purely a software driven problem.

I went to apple on a busy day, and I explained to the worker about my liquid situation as well as the possibility of a virus because I had  installed windows on my computer. *COMMON MYTH: MACBOOKS CAN’T GET VIRUS, ACCORDING TO THE APPLE WORKER I HAD A 30 MIN PHONE CONVERSATION WITH- THEY CAN*. Of course, they ignored everything I said  about there possibly being a virus and told me with full confidence the issue was being caused by the liquid damage that had occurred. So, they sent my laptop out to be repaired for the liquid damage. I get the list of things they replaced – My speakers and the top case.” Hmm.. why would that affect the working of my safari?”, I pondered. The apple worker powered my laptop on to make sure it worked and – THE SAME ERROR CODE SCREEN THAT I LEFT MY COMPUTER WITH WAS STILL ON IT!!!! GRRR! I knew it was probably a software issue. My laptop is still not fixed and I already paid them for the work that was done. I told them once again I was originally concerned it was a software issue. The apple workers took my computer to the back and completely uninstalled my laptop and then reinstalled it with updated software. VOILLA!!! Problem solved. Thank goodness, but I was still ticked about spending money on something that really didn’t need fixed,
Lessons learned:

BACK UP ALL OF YOUR INFORMATION TWICE, external hard drives are LIFE

TRUST YOUR INSTINCT, if you think it’s a software issue- make them look at that first

MAC BOOKS CAN GET VIRUSES

DON’T USE YOUR LAPTOP FOR RECIPE TO MIXED DRINKS